those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
