dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
