I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
