I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
