she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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