New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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