Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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