After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
