piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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