I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
