you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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