Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
God I need to hump something, right now.
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