It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
