are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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