his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
