capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
So squirting runs in the family.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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