I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
