i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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