He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
A+ Viking dick
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
