idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
