OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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