I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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