we have officially lost it.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
