Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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