So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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