I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I smell stomach acid.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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