Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
