Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
ttyl tear gas
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
