why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
