I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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