a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
