honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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