I am in a vortex of obligation.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
