Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
