Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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