How'd it feel making her break her religion?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
