And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
