I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She bit a glass in half.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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