i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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