She's the barista slut.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
