Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
