Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
