We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
