Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
