READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
