3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
