why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
