The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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