Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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