Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
